Record of the 10309th Child

[twibeast]

Your name is Orthrus.


OOC: These are the memories of Orthrus' life that one will see upon holding his crystal core (which previously appeared to be just an earring). The closer to his death the more you see, but as days go on it will become harder, until eventually only the moment of death can be see from an outsider.
These memories are more feeling than visual. Only a few visual details really show themselves, and only a few names stand out based on most importance. More details are locked within and not for outsiders to see. Characters may see the image of people they care about in the place of the people in Orthrus' memories, their own friends, family and lovers. The crystal will contain a little bit of warmth at first, like the last embers of a fireplace, but will eventually become stone cold.

These are split into comments/segments for easier reading. The last memory is the one most relevant to evidence. The later half explains what happened to Orthrus between Ars Arcana and We Could Be and the reason for his coughing fits and tar. Everything else is flavor/for fun. Again only the people who touch it directly will see everything ICly.

Please be warned that all of the warnings from Orthrus opt out post apply to this. Primarily these are abuse with some mentions of events involving child death and attempted genocide. Orthrus also suffered a traumatic event involving non-consensual mindfuckery, the aftermath of which left him depressed and dealing with intrusive thoughts and suicide ideation. This specific event will have individual warnings in the comment header.

A direct link to the murder memory for quick access.

Comment where Orthrus' time between Ars Arcana and WCB begins

Comments

[twibeast]

Your name is Orthrus.

The third child, Cerberus gave you that name long ago. Apparently it meant "twilight" and the very first child had a similar name. The first and the last rays of sunlight over the existence of your kind... she didn't say as much but you understand now that that's what she saw you as.

Your home is harsh. Barren. Unfeeling. Dead. You live with your sisters in the rundown structure that Cerberus says used to belong to the ones called "humans". You try not to dwell too much on the memories from this time. You remember the first and only time you met Hydra and how the sheer incomprehensible-to-you size of her and Chimera's insistence that she would eat you made you terrified of the ocean. You remember Cerberus telling you what a mother was ("someone who raises and protects you"), and her words of resentment for the Allmother ("that woman isn't a mother to any one anymore"). You remember asking her "does that make you my mom?" and her simple answer of "if you want me to be". You vividly remember the one time you saw her in her human form, how it was the first time you'd ever seen a human before and what would eventually help form the basis of both of your own humanoid forms.

You remember the day she was taken from you forever, even if you try not to. You remember the blood on her fangs, the Allmother's scorn, and the reassuring look she gave as Chimera forced you to hide with her.

You remember Chimera's grief and rage. Her fear now that it was just the two of you. You remember being blamed. You remember being forced to promise not to leave her.

You try not to remember anything else from that time with Chimera.

You remember finally meeting the Allmother for real, long after you had become an adult. Being recognized by her as her 10309th child. You remember how shocked you were that someone could still be larger than Hydra, how you felt like a mouse in the palm of her hand.

You remember being asked if you wanted to see your father. After seeing his grotesque crystal corpse and the chunks carved out of it to give you life, you wish you hadn't.

And of course, you remember the Lake of Realms.

It was Cerberus' before, the Allmother said, and now it would be yours. Cerberus had guarded it when humans still lived, which had led to them mistaking her for the guardian of the underworld. But it led to no such place: it was a portal to other worlds. On its surface you saw reflections of infinite different worlds, the image changing with each ripple. You sat there for ages, transfixed by what you saw, yearning to go there.

Eventually you could yearn no more. Could stand your harsh world or your sister's abuse no longer.

You leapt in.

[twibeast]

Falling through the sky is not an experience you've had again or care to repeat. You remember the pain of the crash landing and your fear of the unfamiliar environment. You remember being found by a son of man, who tries to calm you with reassurances that he won't hurt you, that he'll protect you. He's true to his word, taking you back to his village and tending to your injuries. You settle in this village, this Aeaea, the people in it marveling at you as you marvel everything else. So many sounds, colours and smells... so many things you'd never seen before. Had your world once been like this? You don't know.

You also find you never want to be apart from Patroclus, your savior. His presence brings you joy, and the idea of being separated fills you with such sorrow you don't know how to describe. Back then you didn't know. But now you do.

You were in love.

You became a man for him. You knew you could because of your sister, and though you stumble into it this feels like the best way to stay together. In this form you learn even more. You learn how people show affection, how they hold one another, find fulfillment in each other. But you also learn how precious and short their lives really are. How quickly things move in comparison to how it feels to you. A flash in the pan, and a mortal love is over.

You remember his death. You experience heartbreak for the first time. Oh, how long and hard you cried at his bedside holding his frail hand, mourning the precious moments you'll never get back, all while the people he asked to cherish and love you in his stead weep with you.

And indeed they love you. For 2000 years they love you. You watch them their whole lives, help raise them with the rest of the community, and comfort them when it's their time to go. You protect them with your life, and in turn they shower you with their affection and adoration. Every time you leave and come back they run to greet you, to feed you, to listen to you, to hold you. You remember each and every single one of them, with each generation looking more and more like you and your kind through sheer exposure to your mana.

You fondly remember the day the people of that world started calling you the Father of Beasts. Because that's what you are to these Beastials, aren't you? Your beloved brought you here, but it was them who fully embraced you as kin, as progenitor of their current forms, as Guardian Beast.

You lost your first love that painful day so long ago. But you gained your family. Your home. The place where you belong.

[twibeast]

With freedom comes wanderlust. A desire to see as much as you can. And so you travel. Anywhere at all, as far you can go. You find so many things on your journey. You learn magic from the Witches of Ambrosia, try every kind of food you can. You see almost every corner of the world, your fear of large bodies of water being the only obstacle. Along the way you learn much about yourself as well. You experiment with your form, your very identity. You realize what makes you happiest - what feels most right for you.

Hundreds and hundreds of years go by. People grow old and die, the world changes a little bit every day. But you remain. And even though you can alter your body whenever you please, the fact that you exist never changes. You live and live, carrying the names of those you have long outlived on your back, keeping them alive through your memory.

One day you meet Orpheus - your best friend.

Your kind don't experience romantic relationships with each other, but you remember your sister telling you that they used to have platonic companionship. That's what she and Hydra had, that's what you think Chimera wanted out of you. You never understood it before, but you did after meeting Orpheus. There's just something about your relationship completely different than what you had with Patroclus, but just as meaningful.

Which is why it's such a shock when one day she tells you:

"I'm going to die, Ori."

Everyone dies, you know that by now. But you know that's not what Orpheus means. She means soon, before her time should have been up.

A dual prophecy. A phenomenon only the most gifted prophets experience, where they receive two visions at once, ones that are intrinsically entwined. One will happen if the other doesn't, and so the prophet is left to choose which fate will occur.

"Either the Fair are annihilated as a whole or the only daughter of Calliope dies an early death"

You remember holding and consoling her. She makes you promise not to tell another soul, because she had already made up her mind. Orpheus was a lot of things, but beneath her trouble making exterior she had always been, first and foremost, a selfless person. Between herself and the people she loved she would chose the people she loved every time.

She starts teaching you how to play harp. She wants to leave something behind for you specifically. Something that lets her always be with you.

"If you keep playing, then it's like I never died right? And maybe if you play long enough... I'll find my way back from the dead."

You both know that won't happen. But you add her songs to the load you carry on your back and vow to make the most of what time you have left.

[twibeast]

You remember going to bed the night before with one of the Beastials, keeping her company during a thunder storm with your true form... only to wake up somewhere else entirely, surrounded by strangers.

The tower is strange and the people are stranger. You realize pretty quickly they're all from other worlds, places you'd never heard of before. The danger doesn't set in right away though - even with them telling you to kill each other, you believe you can make it through the month without doing so and that you're strong enough to overcome any odds.

The following weeks test that strength.

It's not that you weren't familiar with death. Of course you were. You'd seen all sorts of death before. Not every death was peaceful or fair, many felt cruel and unjust. But this was different. Save for the aftermath of war, you had never seen anything this intense before. You hated killing but you had done it when you had to, whether to protect or grant mercy... you'd never had to sentence a person to execution before, especially ones you didn't think deserve it.

Once the younger members of the group started to fall it became even harder. How could you forgive yourself? You were a protector, the Father of Beasts... and yet there was nothing you could do. You were always too late, always felt like there had to be more you could have done. But most of all... your own immortality felt like a slap in the face.

In this place where people must die... why couldn't it have been you? You had lived a full life already, hundreds of times over an average human would.

You managed to do something right only at the end, but three lives were still lost. Lives of people you cared about. But even the execution you still survived.

Why?

You remember the way the other survivors spoke to you before sentencing you to what should have been the end of the line. How they reacted when you said their lives were worth protecting more than yours.

You still don't understand.

You would go back home afterwards like none of it had happened. Back to your friends, to your family of Beastials. But every now and then you would wonder about this still.

[twibeast]

It's a scant few months after that all happened that you meet... Her.

You can still remember seeing her sad blue eyes for the first time, even more vividly than the moment you realized the child she was hunched over protecting was a fairy. You put things together quickly, and bring her to Orpheus to confirm your suspicions: she was the new priestess, the fairy with her the new Goddess. You remember her hesitance, the way she reminded you of your younger self: broken and aching and looking for place to belong. So you tell her she can start fresh here, no matter what her past might be.

She asks that you call her Odysseus.

You promise to protect her.

You begin a journey with her and Orpheus. Soon your other friends join you, as well as new ones. Eight comrades coming together to protect the Goddess and bring stability back to your world. You see and do so much together, becoming close as can be.

And eventually you realize both you and Orpheus have fallen in love with Odysseus. The first time you've felt this way since Patroclus all those years ago.

You take your friends back home to meet your family. To partake in one of the Beastials' festivals. You remember the way they push you and Odysseus to dance together, and how happy you felt in that moment.

A shame that happiness could not last.

[twibeast]

"I. Found. You."

You'll never forget the terror you felt when you heard her voice again. Every part of your body freezes, while simultaneously screaming to run.

It all happens so fast. First Chimera is just talking to you like it were old times, the next you're on the ground. The collar she puts on you is painful and bends you to her will. You're in your true form but not in control, and it takes Odysseus standing before you, unafraid and reaching her hands out to your snouts before you can break free and change back. You see your sister try to strike her down and without a second thought you take the blow instead.

That's how you ended up captured. Chimera won't let you die she says, not when you're Hers. If it'll make her stop hurting people then you'll do whatever she wants, but deep down you know she'll never stop. All Chimera knows is how to hurt, and nothing you say can ever get through to her.

She'll never actually be a sister to you.

When your friends rescue you, you tell her as much, before taking a leap of faith right into Odysseus and Orpheus' arms.

Oh how you would pay for that.

[twibeast]

Fire.

Fire everywhere. Your beloved home is up in flames. You run deep into the woods heedless of the destruction around you. You have to get there, you have to help. No one should have been able to get through your defenses even when you're away, so how--?

...Ah. It was meant to only let those with traces of your mana through. Like your sister.

Your fire Elemental friend is the only one able to make it through and pull you back out. You manage to save the flowers Patroclus made for you but that's it. Everything else is gone.

Save for a message left by your sister:

Did you have fun with your toys? Did you have a laugh making me do this?
This is no one's fault but your own, baby brother.

You wail in rage and agony as you realize what happened. Even Orpheus confirming with her powers that many of the Beastials successfully evacuated isn't enough to soothe you. Your sister hurt them in order to hurt you, and now everything you love is gone.

You make the hard decision then that you won't seek out the survivors. Chimera found them because of you. If you go to them then she'll just follow the trail and this'll happen all over again. You can't do that to them.

As your screams turn into sobs you feel Odysseus' arms around you.

"I'm... I'm still here for you. I won't leave you, Orthrus..."

[twibeast]

Things change between you three after that.

Your love is returned. As is Orpheus'. The arrangement of your relationship is a little unconventional but you're all fine with this. Fine sharing your beloved with your best friend and seeing both of them just as happy together as they are with you. But that isn't the only thing.

Odysseus takes up the sword. She wants to get stronger and your friends train her. When you try to train with her, tell her every good sword needs a shield... she merely shakes her head.

"No. You've protected me long enough. It's my turn to protect you."

She insists on this over and over, even as she holds you at night, holds you when you try to be strong and hold back the tears that come when you're in your thoughts, your grief, for too long. She holds you and assures you:

"You can be vulnerable around me, it's okay. You don't have to always be so strong... I've got this.
I'll protect you no matter what, so please... trust me."

It's a weird sensation but you give in. You let yourself be the protected for once. You let yourself be the prince protected by the knight. You let yourself be weak. You let your guard down.

"Ody... when this is all over... will you marry me?"

...

"Yes. I will."

[twibeast]

Chimera and the people she's sided with want to destroy this world. She needs to be stopped. And after much hardship... you do it. You defeat her.

You're the one who finally takes her life. She injured Odysseus and all you saw was red as you ended up on top of her in your beast forms with one of your jaws around one of her necks. She taunts you, berates you as she always does, but you don't take it this time. You end it all right there, her last words merely being:

"I won't let you be happy."

Strange. You weren't sure what you'd feel once she was finally dead. But nothing feels good or satisfying. It feels pretty awful in fact. But she's gone and Odysseus' wound isn't so bad, so everything will be fine now.

Right?

Months go by. You remember preparing for the wedding with Orpheus when suddenly you both heard a thud. You find Odysseus collapsed in pain, a dark mark spread across her body, starting from the point where Chimera had injured her. You suddenly realize the meaning of your sister's last words.

A curse. Odysseus was cursed and would likely die.

There's nothing you could do. You are powerless to help your beloved, only able to sit at her bedside and hold her hand, weeping.

It's Orpheus who finds the solution. Manages to execute the magic to seal the curse away. But it comes at a price and if she had to go anyway... well.

Between herself and her loved ones Orpheus would choose her loved ones every time.

cw: abuse in the form of non-consensual mindfuckery, emeto

[twibeast]

The funeral is where everything falls apart.

Orpheus' mother blames Odysseus for her daughter's death. Odysseus believes it and blames herself. You remember being unable to bear seeing her this way. So you break your promise. You tell them about Orpheus' prophecies.

Her mother's fury only grows. She and half the Fair forsake the Goddess right then and there. But Odysseus' heartbreak is now aimed at you.

"You... knew this?"

She runs off. You don't have the heart to go after her. Not yet anyway. After some time you finally do.

But you're too late. Too late to stop her.

Immediately you can tell something is wrong. Odysseus is bleeding from her head, a pair of horns forming a crescent shape newly grown from her skull. Her appearance has changed to more resemble your goddess mother's but more than that you feel that same power from her.

You approach her to ask what happened. Apparently it was time for the fairy to ascend, and she had come to say good bye and grant Odysseus' wish before she left. You knew Odysseus viewed her as if she were her own child, and losing her as well today was too much for her. But you never could have imagined...

She claims she was able to steal the Goddess' power. How, you don't know. Such a thing shouldn't have been possible and yet you can tell just from looking at her that this is true. When you demand to know where the child is now, she doesn't answer you. You try to talk sense into her, convince her that she can just undo this and they can fix everything together.

She answers you by crossing the distance between you, and cupping your face with her hands like she often would.

And then the pain started.

It surges through you all at once, like being struck with lightning over and over. It feels like your mind is being pulled apart and you realize, moments too late, what Odysseus is doing. She's going through your mind - all of your memories, without your consent. And she isn't stopping, uncaring about what this kind of taboo magic might do to you.

You scream in agony, tears running down your face, but most of all you beg. You plead with her. Stop it. Please stop!

Stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop sTOP STOP STOP STOP IT!!!

And then you feel it bubbling up in your throat. Odysseus finally stops but only because she sees it starting before you do. You drop to the ground immediately and start vomiting. It's dark and thick and sticky and you can't stop it. It keeps coming up and you keep expelling it.

You realize only once it starts to die down just how wrong it is. You can't just vomit like that normally. But something inside you is different. Your clay feels wrong, it feels damaged. You had heard that humans can go braindead if you go too far into their memories, but you don't have a brain. Only once that thought hits you do you fully realize: you are looking at a puddle of your own damaged, liquefied insides. A puddle of your body turned into tar.

You look up at Odysseus then and for a moment, her face shows shock and concern. Like she didn't mean to do that, like she had no idea that would happen. And for a brief moment that gives you some hope. You shakily call out her name and ask only one question:

"Why...?"

She closes her eyes for a moment, shakes her head, and then looks back at you with a cold expression.

"I had to make sure you weren't hiding anything else from me."

At that moment your figurative heart breaks. You had kept yourself together through as much hardship as you could, but this? Hearing her say that?

You're done.

You beg her again to let the fairy go, but she flees and leaves you there on your own.

[twibeast]

Your friends are the ones who find you. They bring your unconscious body back the house you built together with your partners, a house intended to be a home for all three of you that now feels hollow and cold. They ask you what happened, where Odysseus was and you can't answer them.

"She went back to Earth."

It's a lie and they all immediately know it. But what else are you supposed to say? They see Odysseus as a friend and hero. How could you break their hearts by explaining her betrayal?

So you stay quiet. And they give you time and space. They care for you over the next few days, then one day decide to go to the nearest village together for supplies to give you some time alone. Time you spend curled up in bed, occasionally beset with the painful coughing fits.
































Oh, you poor thing.

The eerie voice came from the walls.

You poor, poor beast. Useless failure of a guardian.
Poor child all lost and alone. What even is there for you anymore?
Nothing, nothing! Nothing at all! You've lost everything!

They came from the windows and you try to ignore them as they giggle at you but it's no use.

Oh but you know...
You can still be useful to someone.
That's right, that's right!

...

You sit up then. You know what this is now.

Your feet start to move on their own.

The walk is a blur. You're not even thinking anymore. You're just walking and walking and being led by the voices and their encouragement. Eventually you find yourself in a deep cavern. Right in front of it.

The Enthrall. A massive flower said to have once been a fairy itself before it fell to depravity and feasted on human mana, promising wishes to the vulnerable only to swallow and drain them whole. Its offspring joyously cry out for your mana as you walk closer, the petals opening for you.

"Ah... there you are, child of Goddess Echidna. Why don't you come closer? Let me ease your pain."

You don't hesitate. You climb inside of it. A pair of arms reach for you and pull you close against its core, while small tendrils hungrily insert themselves into your flesh, ready to suck all the mana they can out of you. It's strange. Despite knowing that your life force is already being drained, it's almost like being with the Allmother. Or what you used to imagine the Allmother was like anyway. Warm, inviting, like some kind of bright light...

"Whatever wish you want, I'll grant it child."

You laugh under your breath. Your answer is simple.

"I only want to die."

And strangely enough, the Enthrall pauses.

"...Nothing else? Truly? I will be honest with you, your mana may be too dense for me. I may not be able to kill you.
Please. You must have some other wish."

What a joke. The one reason they say to stay away from Enthralls and it can't even do that for you. But you think about it regardless and as your consciousness starts to slip away you give voice to your actual true desire.

"...well. Maybe... maybe it'd be nice... if I could be happy again."

Someday...

[twibeast]

Next thing you remember, you wake up on a beach.

The sight of a large body of water behind you spooks you and you run off paying no mind to the people on the beach with you. Once you're on your own though you start to put things together.

This isn't right. You were inside the Enthrall sleeping for who knows how long. So why are you here now? Is this another situation like the tower?

...Ah.

You see now.

This is how the Enthrall will grant your wish.

You're going to die here. You're convinced of that. And you welcome it eagerly.












...So you thought anyway.

But as the weeks go on, your end never comes. You're never targeted, and none of the motives stir you in a way to take action yourself. It just doesn't happen. Weirder still, people seem to care about you. Want you to trust them. And eventually you begin to care too.

...Is that okay?

Is it okay if you let them? Are you even ready for that?

You don't know. But at some point, you start wondering... which of your wishes is actually being granted.

At some point you make the decision for yourself. Of which one you actually want.

You start to let yourself feel loved again. You start to feel a little bit like your old self.

Little by little, step by step.

[twibeast]

You wake up feeling relief. Your powers are still here, so that means no one died. The joy this makes you feel is so over whelming that you go about your day as usual. Maybe you'll finish writing that song today, or make pancakes for everyone later.

You're at your favorite place with the companion left to you by your friend from the last game you were in, when suddenly someone comes crashing through the window. Soon you realize what's happening. There's a fight and you don't understand why. You just know some precious members of your group are at risk and you have to do something. You can't let things play out like it did in that tower. You just can't.

And so you run after them. You summon your shield and you try to put a stop to this. Not just to the fight, but to this whole game. This twisted game must end, and it'll end with you if it must.

How ironic that thought is when your shield fails.

The killing blow is quick and absolute. You hear the sound of your clay breaking in your ears and you know at that moment that you're done. Even as you're cradled in the arms of a friend, you know this to be true.

You hear a voice in your head. One that you think must be your long deceased father, whose body was chipped away at to make your soul. This isn't your first time hearing him, but you realize it'll be your last.

I'm sorry, my son. I can't save you this time.

Ah... so this is how it feels to die.

And yet... you think of everyone else here. The people you had just begun to let yourself trust. That you only just realized were friends.

...Do you want to see them all one last time? I can do that much for you. But we'll have to conserve what energy you have left.

You can feel your body going into stasis as he says that. And only one thought fills your head.

Father... I don't want to die alone.

You won't. I'll hold you together until they come.

They'll be here soon enough.



















And he was right.

They come. And you pass. And all you feel now

Is love.